no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
