so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
