so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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