They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
