She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
