do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
