its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
