U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
