i just had sex bonerless
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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