Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
