just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
