uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
