Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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