He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
