O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
