): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
