Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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