I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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