idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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