It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
