Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
