remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
