i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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