Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
