I want to have your abortion
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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