I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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