Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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