sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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