How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
