This girl is more easily done than said...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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