is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
