There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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