i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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