I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
