I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
