So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
