Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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