He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
