he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
