I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
