It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
