I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
my being single is dangerous.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
