Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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