My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
