woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
