No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
