i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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