i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
