So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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