wat bout pragnant strippers??
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
